“It will get better.”
“I know it’s hard right now, but I promise it will get easier.”
“It will pass.”
“You are strong.”
These are the most common pieces of advice you are given when you experience heart ache. They are things that your closest friends and family tell you to encourage you to move on and move forward.
As far as I can tell… these “comforting” phrases are also accidental lies. Because it’s been almost four months and I’m still not better, it’s definitely not easier, clearly it has not passed and sometimes I feel extraordinarily weak.
I’ll tell you what has happened though… it has gotten different.
My life has completely changed. I am more independent. I focus more of my time on myself. I spend more time with my friends. I check in more often with my family. I recognize my greatest weaknesses and I strive to better myself from that recognition. I’m not afraid to change my mind. I push myself to think outside of the box. I write more. I pray often. I work harder.
I wouldn’t say I am “okay” right now, but I would say I am “different”. When your entire life revolves around someone and that very person disappears from your life, it won’t be easy, but it will no doubt get different. This is a truth we should tell each other when we go through traumatic experiences.
I’m done saying it will get easier or it will all be okay. Because maybe it won’t be. I can’t say “it will get better” or “it will be okay” to anyone with confidence. But I can confidently assure another human being that it WILL get different. I know this from experience.
Different means hope for the future. Different means something new may come along. Different is inherently adventurous and fearlessly curious. And that is what I want my life to be.